The Rockville (MD) Gazette, a suburban newspaper, recently reported on a number of long-married couples in the area.
Bess and Jacob have been married 70 years. Dan and Sylvia were married nearly 68 years ago. Imagine that! They have been married longer than I (and probably you) have been alive.
More striking than the longevity were some of the attitudes these seniors expressed. Perhaps that's why they have had such enduring marriages. For instance -
Recalling her first impression of her husband, Bess said she just liked him. Sounds like she still does. Can't say anyone has ever liked me, let alone said it out loud....But then, consider that Bess liked traveling - she said "I never found a place I disliked. It was all beautiful." Well, may be someone that open minded, would be able to like even me....
Not to be outdone, Jacob explained that there were no tricks to a lasting marriage. "If you love each other, that's enough." What? Love is enough to overcome the slings and arrows of overdue bills, kids falling sick, day care problems, nosy neighbors, obnoxious in-laws, layoffs, not keeping up with the Joneses,...?
Dan met Sylvia when both were 15. He said "She was my type." That's always a good indication but -- at 15, how many of us really know ourselves, let alone recognize our type?
He added that he appreciates her general outlook. Hmmm...My wife too has a general outlook. We get along well because I have a private outlook. Early on, I had a sergeant outlook, but it was quickly demoted.
For her part, Sylvia noted, "The chemistry has stayed over all these years." The chemistry is generally OK; the physics is where the problem comes in. The dimensions change, the mass gets redistributed, the momentum is lost...
On second thoughts, I don't buy these statements; do you? After all, these are senior citizens. God knows I have trouble remembering people's names. How much better can their memories be? I mean, come on! After you have been married for eons, it is only natural to forget the bad and highlight the good. Selective memory is probably a pre-requisite for a long marriage.
It also helps if the wife is near sighted and the husband hard of hearing.
I realize all of the foregoing is about a marriage between one man and one woman. That's not a political statement; this is all I know about. May be in my next life....