INTRERVIEW WITH A TECHIE TYCOON

INTRERVIEW WITH A TECHIE TYCOON

A crowd of people is standing around on waiting for the train to arrive. Among them is someone who is clearly a VVIP. Upon closer observation, he is seen to be a very important flunky, preceding, clearing the way and attending to a very very important person. The VVIP, on the other hand, appears modest and good natured. Without the flunky at his side, he might not even be noticed a VVIP. Roving reporter Decibella Chatterjee comes on the railway platform, accompanied by middle aged camera man, struggling with a big camera. DC is a superficially attractive, but extremely self conscious, twenty-something girl. She looks around, trying spot anything newsworthy but concurrently keeps fussing with her appearance – tucking straying strands of hair in place, freshening her lipstick, touching up her make up and so on. Flunky, leading VVIP, crosses paths with DC and cameraman. DC walks by, but cameraman nudges her.

CAMERAMAN
Bella, look! Don't you know who that is?

DECIBELLA CHATTERJEE
No – looks like some old guy. Is he admiring me?

CAMERAMAN
Fat chance [Bella glares at him] – er, I mean, slim chance. That is Mr. Murthy, Founder and Chief Mentor of Infosys Technologies. May be we can interview him.

DC
That is Narayana Murthy? [Walks up and tries to tap VVIP on the shoulder, but Flunky intercepts her]

FLUNKY
Hey, Missie, what you are doing?

DC
[Looks down her nose at Flunky] Tell Mr. Murthy he might want to talk to my viewers at Indytainment Today TV.

FLUNKY
Who you think you are? You want to interview the Chief Mentor without even an appointment?

DC
[Touching up her make up] I don't need an appointment to talk to your Chief Mental; I am the Media. Don't you watch anything but Dur Darshan?
[Flunky glares some more and tries to steer VVIP away from her. Cameraman intervenes.]

CAMERAMAN
Mr. Narayana Murthy, so many of our viewers are your fans. Won't you take a couple of minutes to say Hello to them?

VVIP
[Smiles] Hello [Turns to follow Flunky, who is already walking away.]

DC
On camera, please – face this way [points to video camera, adjusts her hair, then puts on an artificial smile]. Now, viewers, we have the pleasure of speaking with one of the Tycoons of Technology, Mr. Narayana Murthy, Chief Mental of Infosys Technologies. [VVIP laughs but Flunky interrupts her angrily.]

FLUNKY
No, no, no, no. You are in the presence of Mr. N.R. Norayana Murthy, Chief Mentor of Ifnosys Technologies, (Pvt) Ltd.

DC
I always thought it was Infosys ...

VVIP
That is a better known, but less important, company. My company is called Ifnosys. Because, in all Information Technology, the most fundamental logic is If-then-else. Do you follow?

DC
No, I don't. And, usually, men follow me; sometimes, even boys follow me. If its a Gay Pride celebrations, a few girls might evenfollow me. But I [drawing herself up] don’t follow anybody.

FLUNKY
[Getting in her face] Oh Yeah? But you will follow the Chief Mentor; everybody does.

VVIP
[Patiently ignoring the argument] Let me try to explain. Most I/T people are good at designing, and building, information systems to handle the If case – that is, what to do when some condition is true. That is how they think, that is how they build their systems, that is how they test their systems and that is what they deliver to their customers.

DC
OK, so what?

VVIP
So their software is full of bugs....

DC screams “Bugs!” and collapses. Cameraman helps her up, saying “Not insects, Bella, just software mistakes.” DC looks at VVIP reproachfully, and starts restoring her appearance.

FLUNKY
How rude! Fainting in the middle of the Chief Mentor's explanation! [VVIP quiets him].

VVIP
But in my company, we pay particular attention to the exceptions – that is, to the If-then-else case. That is why our software works the first time every time.

FLUNKY
Our software works straight out of the box, because we think in and out of the box – ha, ha, ha!

DC
[Ignoring Flunky] You're telling me your products are better than other companies' products. But that's what they all say.

VVIP
But the customer knows better. To keep reminding them of the difference, we named our company If- No-Sys Technologies. Our employees liked the sound of that so much, they started calling me Mr. NO-rayana Murthy. Now, NO has become my favorite word.

CAMERAMAN
My two year old daughter has something in common with you...

VVIP
Where is my company's head office?

FLUNKY
NOIDA

VVIP
Where is our biggest foreign subsidiary?

FLUNKY
NOva Scotia

VVIP
Where are our U.S. offices located?

FLUNKY
North Carolina and North Dakota

VVIP
Who is our largest overseas customer?

FLUNKY
NOkia

DC
Fascinating! But, Mr. Murthy, you
seem a pretty positive person....

FLUNKY
No, no, no, no. Perish the thought. Don't let the customer hear you say that.

VVIP
Actually, “No” can be a positive influence. It is what we teach our first line managers – anyone can say “Yes” to an employee, a customer, or a government regulator. That is the easy way, but it costs the company – time, money, profit margin, stock price and so on. We are looking for managers who can say “No” in such a way it sounds like “Yes”.

DC
[Closes her eyes and rubs her forehead, as though fighting off a headache] I see, I see.

FLUNKY
Sir, we have to get going. I see the guys from the Chamber of Commerce looking for us. Please come this way. [Leads VVIP away]

DC
[Fusses with her appearance, then puts on a real fake smile, turns to the camera] There you have it, viewers – Norayana Murthy of Ifnosys telling you the way he sees it. I'm your host, Decibella Chatterjee.

CAMERAMAN
Oh damn! I didn't notice, the camera was not turned on