Bumbling Babblings of a Bubblehead

There's something about the word "disembowel." Or "depravity," or "disfigurement" -- about so many words that begin with the letter "d." Divorce, destitution, doubt, drugs, dirt, dwindle. So many of them are on our lips just now -- though not "disembowel," and we should be thankful for that much. Once more, as a nation, we have entered Sector D. -- "Entering Sector D" by Henry Allen, Washington Post, January 31, 2008.

Begone, Blasted Buffoon! Behold the bumbling babblings of a bubblehead. Why branch out all the way to Sector D, bypassing the beautiful example of Sector B?

By the way, to B or not to B, that is the question. Browse the benighted B, for a moment. So near the top of the heap, but not of it. Bridesmaid but not the bride. Bitten, and never again bold.

It is far, far worse to be a runner up than to finish in the middle of the pack. Didn't you see Ana Ivanovic crying, with the runner-up's trophy, at the Australian Open?

By golly, the blood boils over the bewildering bad luck of the letter B. Babies are taught about Bad and Good, not about Dis and Dat – at least outside of Noo Joisy. Kids ride a Bike, play Ball, continually grow too Big for their Britches, learn about the Birds and the Bees; some go to B-School, a few make Big Bucks; others move on to Breaking & Entering, Burglary, Bodily harm; a few enter politics where they do Battle with Baseless allegations, Bickering, Bile, Blame trading and Backbiting so they can get elected and have the chance to indulge in Bribery, Budget manipulation, Back door legislation favoring Big Business – all in an effort to become Billionaires.

What was the Big Battle of this young century? Surely, none other than the Big Dad of Bagdad getting Bludgeoned by Bushie’s Bumbling jihadists.

In the English- (vs. American-) speaking world, Bother someone enough, and they tell the Bloody Bastards to Bugger off.

Budgets are the bugaboo of the average American family; that’s why they carry thousands of dollars in credit card debt. Congress is no better – billions and billions added bipartisanly to the national debt every biennium. Some of these guys and gals might be not just bipartisan, but even bisexual, bicultural or – dare I say it – bilingual! The mind boggles…